For the easily distracted...: You feel the same sometimes too right?

Friday, 1 October 2010

You feel the same sometimes too right?

Hey! This is me...
and ultimately, this blog is me!

It's my little world.

I was walking to work this morning and as I got to the front door, my favourite boss (yeah I have favourites...) who was also approaching the door, said 'Hey Rhianne' and... I completely blanked him - I was listening to my ipod - I was thinking about this post - I was looking at the floor so I didn't slip on the insanely slippery slabs that Yorkshire has (is that just a Yorkshire thing? I think so...) I was in my own little world.

As I realised he was there, I looked up (jumped) and said 'Hey! Sorry, I was in my own little world' and he said smiling.

'That's alright, we should all have our own little worlds...'

Gah! Most perfect response ever?! And I believe him, we should!

Anyway, the point of this now rather wordy post (sorry) is that really I haven't been honest in my little world... and I think thats why I've been struggling to post...

So here is a little honesty...

Approaching 500+ followers absolutely terrifies me!

(theres more of you through reader, eep!)

I wrote on Nicole's anonymous post recently about how I felt... and thinking about it, I don't know why I shouldn't share it on here - so here goes...

"I constantly worry about my blog, it's the only thing keeping me sane at the moment and the only thing I really put alot of effort into (my job sucks) But I worry that people will find me boring or that they think I'm just copying someone else... Having more readers has made me worry about it even more, I get upset if I lose followers and I'm sad that I don't get more comments then I did when I had less people read it...I know I shouldn't be bothered and that my blog is for me (and it is, I love it) but putting something out there in the internet world that you truly love, something that balances out all the negativity in your life is pretty scary... I wish it didn't bother me but I love reading other peoples blogs and I guess I just want people to enjoy mine as much as I enjoy theirs... "

I should probably also say that my job doesn't suck that much - I was having a very bad work day... I quite enjoy it when it's a good day.

This isn't about being a 'popular' blog or statistics - in fact I haven't checked my stats properly since I stopped my sponsors - its been a huge relief to me not to have to worry about them. It's about putting your world out there and making connections. Right now I feel a little like I'm on a podium in front of a massive 500 strong brick wall and I don't want that - I want to be in a 500 strong crowd, mingling, saying hi...

When I first started getting followers I used to say hi to each one - it was fun, I got to see people's blogs and share them with everyone else, I got to make a connection and say "Hi, I'm so glad you're here!" but honestly, a few other people started to do that too and it didn't seem as personal to me anymore - then I hit 200 and completely lost track of everyone - keeping track of 200 people is hard... also the blogger followers thing is rubbish - there's not always a link to blogs and new people don't always show up when I click on them... why isn't there a nice list somewhere of who follows you so I can just say hi?! Bah!

I read constantly about people saying that your blog should be for you and this blog is for me - but now it's also for you - and I don't think there is anything wrong with that - I'm not ashamed to be a little sad that people stop following my blog - they essentially stop being in my little world and I'm sad they didn't want to stay... I'm not ashamed that I want more people to comment... and I don't think there should be a stigma about wanting people to enjoy your blog and make a connection with you.

Essentially this post comes down to why I blog and where I want to go with my blog...

I started my blog because I was lonely and bored and I really don't cope very well with either of those two things... the posts stop me from being bored and the comments stop me from being lonely... I want comments because I want to talk to people - I want to comment back, I want to visit people's blogs - I want to have the 'conversation' that I hear so many pro bloggers talk about...

and as for where I want to go with my blog - I don't want to go anywhere - I love it how it is - if anything I need to find myself again and make sure it stays true to me and what I love...

it is my own little world afterall...

If you've read this all, thank you - and if you don't leave a comment (I hate the word lurker) that's fine - I can imagine you're not here to hear me emotionally splurge all over my blog - but if you want to just say hi - make a connection - then please do.

I truly do appreciate everyone who reads my blog - I just think we should get to know each other a bit better, don't you?

p.s It's the 1st of Oct and I should be featuring an etsy shop right now but I needed to get this out... I'll post it on Monday instead...

p.p.s. Happy weekend :)

p.p.p.s. I finally got a pic of me as a bridesmaid on here, haha

Labels: bridesmaid, little me, my blog

36 Comments:

Clare B said...: Well, after all that, I feel like I really need to comment! I've only just found your blog recently, but I really enjoy checking in when you post. There's not always time in my day to comment - sometimes I just don't have the words. Heck, sometimes I'm just feeling selfish 'in my little world' and feel like taking and not receiving. But I like what you're doing. Keep it up. I'm definitely part of your 500 crowd and not the wall.; 1 October 2010 at 10:37
Anonymous said...: I like your blog and it really reflects you. I also like the fact you are another Leeds blogger and its nice to see what you think of the area as well.

Essentially blogs are for you but you are also writing for an audience because that is whole point of blogging is to find other bloggers and interact with them.

Have a good weekend.; 1 October 2010 at 10:43
Elizabeth said...: Hello Rhianne!
I am so glad you wrote this because I feel the same. I have been getting into blogging ever since I was signed off with long term illness. Being stuck at home most of the time it is nice to connect with other people, make new friends, share ideas and inspiration and like you say ease the loneliness. I hadn't realised that until you mentioned it.
Keep enjoying the blog, I'm sure your followers are too!
x; 1 October 2010 at 10:51
mysterymoor said...: I have moments like these too despite having less followers. When I started my blog I didn't tell anybody about it. The only people who knew were a handful of people whose blogs I read. Now that all my friends and family read it sometimes I worry more about what I'm going to say, if it'll be good enough, if anybody will be offended, etc. I also panic sometimes about why some posts seem to be ignored and other liked etc. I think this is just NORMAL. After all, we all want to be liked, and by writing a blog you're putting yourself out there and allowing people into your mind. I also wish some people took more effort to say hello because after all, if something draws them back to my blog a couple of times a week, they're probably the sort of person I'd want to be friends with!

Oh my god I'm rambling so much!; 1 October 2010 at 11:18
Franca said...: Hello! This is a wonderfully honest post! All the best for your blog, it's ace as it is!

I am so with you on the list of followers. I'm also finding it increasingly hard to keep track of people, with so many blogs in my reader. I'm worried that if i add more I'll be completely swamped, but then I still want to 'meet' new people. A tool of new followers and people you haven't visited in a while would be amazing!; 1 October 2010 at 12:04
Alyssa said...: I love you Rhi Rhi haha i kid. Rhianne.

you are gorgeous and if you ever stop blogging i will fly over and have words with you xxx; 1 October 2010 at 12:04
H said...: keep doing what you're doing. You do it well! Everyone gets a bit of blog paranoia every now and then! And the Yorkshire paving thing- fallen so many times... never graduated to sensible footwear...and the one time I turned up in wellies to work I heard gasps. It's the Yorkshire way x; 1 October 2010 at 12:16
this free bird said...: Rhianne I felt like I was reading my own thoughts when I read this post.

Thank you for being so honest. I don't know why it is that the more followers you get the less people comment. I love the dialogue part best, too.

Just keep being you and even if it looks like what you're doing is similar to others - who cares? It's what you're doing and as long as you're authentic that's what keeps people checking in.

xoxo,
Carrie
ps-you have a great blog!; 1 October 2010 at 12:36
nicole mountz said...: well i think you know what i think about this after our emails:) i love your blog and you and i agree with what you said. i miss those conversations and new blog friends. you're an inspiration:); 1 October 2010 at 13:04
katha said...: Now you got me commenting as well.

I'm usually more one of those lurkers. Uhgf how I hate that word. It's not that just creep up from behind and just read stuff here, it's more like I have really big problems commenting on other blogs. Should be easy though I often feel like I have nothing to contribute other than: nice, me too, or stuff like that and that does not feel appropriate at all to something someone put quite a lot of effort into.

I actually posted once before to contribute to your amazing photo swap but my comment got all eaten up and so I was once more shied away from commenting.

Anyhoo, trying right now to be a bit braver a leave a comment. So here it goes. It's your side and your private little world, that's my blog actully to me as well. And just write about what you want, what makes you comfortable and inspires you. And actually, that's the reason you have so many followers, 'cause they are kind of like minded people, who like what you write about. So don't be afraid of that huge oppresive wall, but rather happy about that huge crowed of likely folks out there, appreciating what you like...

Hope you have a great weekend and don't be terrified!

(sorry that was rather wordy as well)

best,
Katha; 1 October 2010 at 13:37
thegirlhassparke said...: First of all you look gorgeous in that photo! I love the honesty of this post and that you said you love getting comments. I love comments I love meeting new people. I think we get scared into thinking that it's wrong to want commenters but I love the interaction. I love your blog and think you should keep doing what your doing and sharing as much as yourself as your comfortable with because I live finding out more about the bloggers I follow.; 1 October 2010 at 13:41
muchlove said...: first of all - gorgeous photo!

I know what you mean about a blog being for yourself... but it does get to a point where you become conscious of your many followers, and you know that you're blogging for them too. Well, that's how I feel with my blog too. I admit I check my blog stats daily (is that sad?), and I guess my decision to have sponsors plays a role in that. I want to keep them (sponsors) happy. To do that, I need to keep my readers happy. Luckily, I know that so far, I'm doing an okay job at that. I LOVE blogging, and I would still be blogging constantly even if I didn't have any followers or sponsors at all.

I love that your blog "isn't going anywhere" because I love it the way it is too :) You are one of my favourites.; 1 October 2010 at 13:50
queen-of-nostalgia said...: You had me at "Bah!"

I love your blog :) And I feel even more "connected" to you now :) I fell like you - making connections, meeting people who share your passions... and worrying how you "sound" and such...

Thank you for sharing your "own little world" because I enjoy visiting :) And that big ole wall? It's just something strong to lean on :)

Cheers!
Kristen; 1 October 2010 at 13:58
Anna @ IHOD said...: what a beautiful post....no really!
Its so honest, and all bloggers can relate!
We SHOULD all have our own little worlds and its so cool that we can jump out of our own and into anothers in the blogworld:)

Cheers!
Anna; 1 October 2010 at 14:15
Laura said...: aw i prefer getting old polaroid film off Ebay, its a lot better than you'd think, you just have to swoop in and win it at the right time :) i nearly bid for more the other day but couldn't win it, ho hum!; 1 October 2010 at 14:29
Ashley Sisk said...: I almost kept on scrolling, but then I stopped and started reading and couldn't stop. You spoke all the things that go through my mind...in fact, I think we're not alone at all. Many of us started a blog because our jobs didn't completely fulfill us (not that they should...I believe there is more in life) or that we were bored, needed an outlet, whatever. I can't tell you how much more content I am with life right now than I was a year ago (and that was leading up to my wedding day).

Sometimes I think too much about the stats (my husband is horrible for watching the number of page hits and I feel defeated if I didn't max out)...but at the end of the day, I love blogging...I love this community, and I hope it's around for a very long time.

And I hope you have a great day!; 1 October 2010 at 14:56
Erin Cox said...: I love your blog. I may not comment all the time, but I am making an effort to do so on blogs I like to read consistently. I love your honesty in this post, and I completely feel the same way about my own.
I want the blog to be for me, but it's my way of sharing my little world with the readers, so I ALWAYS worry that my posts are boring, uninteresting, etc. I totally get it...

Fear not my dear. You are a wonderful writer, and I DO enjoy your blog very much!

I hope you have a fabulous weekend.; 1 October 2010 at 15:58
jenny stardust said...: my blog is pretty tiny. i honestly have it to keep track of all the stuff in my life..in my little world. having it online is simply for fun. if others like it and want to follow then thats fine! i haven't come to the point where i worry about readers and such-yet! like you say, the pressure builds up, always having good posts, but i don't want that, i never want to feel pressured about writing my blog. that's just wasting energy i don't have. When people stop following, the more i appreciate all those who don't stop! you know what i mean?

i love your blog!
the dress is adorable!; 1 October 2010 at 16:08
ana said...: i love how your blog is too :) there is no need for it to really go anywhere as you said.

what a lovely post & thank you for letting us all peak into your own little world.; 1 October 2010 at 16:11
Sam Harvey said...: darling girl. you just made my day. i do feel this way too. i typically blog with a couple muses in my head. it helps me focus. lately i am inspired by vintage vixen, she has such a strong confidence thing going on. just imagine yourself in a raft going down a fast current and put your oars in your boat and let the current take you...; 1 October 2010 at 16:31
TARAdactyl said...: To be honest, I can't remember how I found yr blog or when. But I definitely enjoy reading it! I'm pretty sure I've never commented before so here is my hello!; 1 October 2010 at 17:20
Anonymous said...: Oh Rhianne I feel just the same. No matter what we say, it is so nice to get comments and once you've posted something but get no reaction, it IS frustrating. I'm all about the conversation thing, that's the reason why blogging is so interesting!
xxx; 1 October 2010 at 17:34
GeeGee said...: its very interesting how often a post has the word 'its just a bit of me, sorry for all the emotion' and yet so many people say they feel exactly the same. not sure what that says about how 'original' anyone can be, perhaps honest is the most true blog adjective any one should have!

also - love that photo, I reckons its the best one of the day :); 1 October 2010 at 23:49
Lavender Playground said...: Hi~~~~I think what you said is very true, we all worry if our blog truly reflects who we are. Then I just gave up worrying about it and I'm much happier that way!; 2 October 2010 at 15:39
annalyn said...: hi sweety, thanks for calling me love on your email lol!

I don't follow you on google but when I press F on my URL tab, your blog comes first, oh no, It is facebook comes first and then your blog.

Although I don't comment regularly, I'm a huge fan and your every day reader.

I just love reading you and looking at your photos is my therapy too.

You have a great day in your own little world :); 3 October 2010 at 04:00
Tracey said...: You rock! :)

I totally understand where you're coming from and feel much the same way! :)

Our blog worlds are wonderful because we become their creators and can therefore decide just what they will become - that's pretty awesome I think!

I used to worry about not having a theme on my blog for a while, but that was until I figured out that the theme is ME! :)

I'm often in my little world - especially when I'm heading to and from work. Someone once told me 'that is a pretty nice place to be', and I tend to agree! :); 3 October 2010 at 09:21
Melissa A said...: Hi Rhianne,

I love your post here and that you reveal your own little world and how you enjoy blogging and getting to know others. That is what I love about blogging too. When I see others post their feelings is helps me to connect and to re-evaluate my own blog and why I do it. I took a little break this summer because I wasn't sure that I wanted to blog anymore, then I came back after the summer for about one week and then had an appendicitis attack and had to have surgery. I'm feeling much better now and was just thinking about the blog today and still wondering if I want to go back to it. It's the people and comments that I miss, but the time it takes seems so involved. I have been asking myself, do I really want to keep putting time into this blog and what do I really get out of it. Showing pretty things and decorating ideas all the time sometimes just seems to breed more dissatisfaction with the things I have or the way I decorate or the way my house looks and I think it might do that for others too. I have that same feeling, asking myself, do people really like me or my blog or what I post here. Anyway, your post sure sparked all those questions for me. Thank you for sharing your heart.; 3 October 2010 at 18:52
sheba said...: first of all, you look adorable in the photo. secondly, your blog is fab and i'm so glad i stumbled upon it. of course, blogs are for ourselves, but they are definitely a way of communicating with others [otherwise you'd use a private journal!] and i think you're doing a fabulous job!; 3 October 2010 at 18:54
Eadaoin said...: firstly - you look so lovely in that photo, the dress looks beautiful on you :)

secondly - since i have your blog on my igoogle i wasn't aware that i was never officially a follower! so now i'm follower #493 and you don't have to worry about me cause you know i already adore this space of yours and will never forget about it nor stop following you.

thirdly - i'm sorry that worry about your blog being good enough for all these people who like to visit you is causing you so much stress. i understand the pressure though, it's nice to know that people appreciate what you're doing and also to know that you're creating some kind of good reaction in the people who come here, it can be quite a worry making sure you keep everything up to your personal standards. but i hope that at least a small part of you is aware that you are doing a wonderful job here, and having almost 500 followers is testament to that.

i spoke to some fellow bloggers about comments (or a lack of them!) recently, my feelings on the topic run like this: there are a lot of blogs that i love, but i just don't have the time to comment on all of them, it simply would take me too long to do it each day. so i surf and skim, appreciate and become inspired by bloggers every day, but i don't always leave a comment. it doesn't mean i don't appreciate any particular blogger, or that i don't enjoy what they right, but i either just don't have the time or i don't have a response that is something other than a one line reaction lol! in your statisticts i bet you will see that of all the visitors that come to your blog each month many of them are coming back to visit you again and again, they might not be commenting but they like to drop by and see what you're doing every now and again :) so, your visitors may not comment as much as you would like, but i think you are most certainly a valued member of the blogging community and i hope you realise that xxx; 3 October 2010 at 21:55
Anonymous said...: amen! i feel the same way. when i first started i wanted to make sure i kept track of, followed and commented on every blog that followed mine, but after a while it gets so hard! i stress all the time about my blog, what i post and where i want it to go in the future. makes your head spin a little.

thank you for posting this!; 4 October 2010 at 05:29
Teuvo Vehkalahti said...: Very nice picture, and your blog is a great read and considered. I like it very much. Come take a look Teuvo images www.ttvehkalahti.blogspot.com blog and tell all your friends fermentation Teuvo pictures on your blog that your country's flag would rise higher in my blog. A very good continuation of the autumn to you. Teuvo Vehkalahti Suomi Finland; 4 October 2010 at 14:50
allyn said...: rhianne, we all put a lot of ourselves out there. the more we do that, the more you do hope you're going to be well received. how can you not link the two? know that people follow because they like your spirit, photographs and bits of life you've noted out loud. it is very much about you being happy in your own little world. and you have lots to be happy about. hundreds of followers lots... : ); 4 October 2010 at 23:52
elle :: dare my wild heart said...: I don't think you should be in any doubt as to the impact you are having and the community you are building.

I love your blog. Thanks for sharing your little world with us!

Elle x; 5 October 2010 at 01:39
Diana said...: I ended up taking my stats off my blog because it was driving me crazy. I use alexa.com for general numbers, I just couldn't stand the number part of it.

I totally agree with you. I was cleaning out my emails recently and i realized people give to me, but i rarely give back. it's not because i don't want to, but it's basically because i don't know how, if that makes sense. if someone says something sweet, instead of simply saying thank you, i freeze up and ignore it, and in the end, i look like a jerk, when really, i'm just super shy and flabbergasted someone would do that about me.

anyways, i'm glad you wrote this. i love your blog because you are yourself, and one of the most encouraging people i know, even through online.; 7 October 2010 at 05:47
Freckles said...: I haven't been a lurker on your blog, first time I'm visiting it right now actually. But you've just written the most beautiful thing ever, really, it's so true.

People always say "my blog is for me, and no other", like you said. And I agree on a part of that, but I guess you start a blog because you want to share your stuff with others.

I myself is finding it pretty hard to build 'my own little world', so it's always inspiring to check out others - and I think I like yours. :)

Freckles; 7 October 2010 at 08:31
Katerina said...: I'm a comment-holic so I always manage to leave a trail of messages wherever I go regardless of how silly what I have to say may be.
I often worry that what I have to say really isn't all that worthwhile but after reading this post I guess it's really just about the connection after all.

I sometimes come across amazing blogs with heaps of followers yet devoid of comments and this always make me wonder what the problem is.
I wonder, are people just intimidated by some bloggers awesomeness? This in turn makes me wonder whether I should break the silence and comment at all myself.
To comment or not to comment? To care or not to care etc, etc, and so on and so on…
We really are a giant bunch insecure boobs sometimes aren't we? ;o)

So glad you could be totally honest here. I commend you for that, I really do.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way too xox; 3 May 2012 at 14:34

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Friday, 1 October 2010

You feel the same sometimes too right?

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